


The Experiment

by witchspellbook



Category: One Piece
Genre: -Ish, Background Slash, Domestic Fluff, Minor Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, POV Usopp (One Piece), but like really implied, i tried to make luffy th pov but he just doenst have the attention spam, implied Frobin, it was supposed to be funny but im not sure i can write funny, the crew being goofy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25619563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchspellbook/pseuds/witchspellbook
Summary: These are The Rules:1.- You win if you touch Zoro with your hand. No feet, no antlers.2.- You win more if you touch Zoro in the face.3.- No weapons, gadgets and/or devil fruit powers4.- At least one person has to be making some sort of noise because if the ship is too quiet Zoro wakes up asking if something is wrong, did Luffy fell off the rail and if not what the fuck is he planning now.written for the Set Sail One Piece Mid Year Exchange as a gift for Mutiartsomething on Tumblr
Comments: 30
Kudos: 148
Collections: Set Sail One Piece Mid Year Exchange 2020





	The Experiment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mutiartsomething](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Mutiartsomething).



> this is my first time participating in any sort of fandom exchange ever but ive been a fan of one piece for so very long so i though id jump into this with this fic
> 
> please enjoy my attempts at humor, it is also my first time trying that on my own.

The Experiment takes place one quiet day in the middle of the ocean far from any island and any other ship. Nami; having declared that the weather would remain warm and sunny for a while because they were between two spring islands had washed her hands over any other responsibilities now that the helmsman title belonged to Jimbe and had busied herself with finishing some maps in the sunlight and tanning herself on deck much to Sanji’s delight.

It’s... more a game than an experiment per say, but Usopp still writes it down because if you write it down it’s science. It all starts with Usopp chasing Luffy chasing Chopper and Chopper running directly over Zoro’s stomach who doesn't so much as wake up from his nap. Nothing out of the ordinary there, that’s it until Luffy tries to stomp over Zoro as well and the first mate bends and jumps like a cat away from Luffy. 

Only to knee Usopp in the ribs.

Again, nothing out of the ordinary. After a frugal apology from Zoro and a shouting berating from Chopper about safety and rib fragility things go back to normal again. Only now Usopp is curious, so he manages to round and chase Luffy into chasing Chopper into running over Zoro again and the same thing happens (minus the knee in the ribs and consequential shouting) but now Usopp sees it, when Zoro tightens his abs to let Chopper walk over him and the split second he needs to open his eye to see from where Luffy is coming and jump away from him without injuring Usopp this time. So Usopp starts planning.

It's easy to rope Chopper into his experiment and easier to rope Luffy into it if he frames it like a game, and even though is not as easy to make him listen and cooperate he gets there when Luffy finally sees by himself Zoro knowing someone is close by (without haki, they made sure to know it’s not haki and just plain old Zoro being weird and awesome).

There is a radius, they manage to find out before lunch, it ranges from about a couple of metres to something like five, if the three of them overstep it together Zoro stirs. It extends drastically in about a metre if Luffy is just somewhere else when they try it again - once with Franky, once with Brook and once with Robin - Luffy keeping watch of everything from his spot in the figurehead. But when Luffy is all in his own he can get as close as if it were only Usopp and Chopper and Usopp really wants to know how close Nami and Sanji can get.

By dinner they have _Rules._

These are The Rules:

1.- You win if you touch Zoro with your hand. No feet, no antlers.

2.- You win more if you touch Zoro in the face.

3.- No weapons, gadgets and/or devil fruit powers (the last one because one time in the afternoon they had

experimented with the distances and had elastic banded Luffy in the general direction of Zoro’s nap and Luffy _had_ touched Zoro

but only because Zoro had not woken up fast enough to not find himself with Luffy flying face first in his direction). 

4.- At least one person has to be making some sort of noise because if the ship is too quiet Zoro wakes up asking if something is wrong,

did Luffy fell off the rail and if not what the fuck is he planning now.

  
  


They start about three hours after breakfast, after Zoro has done his morning training routine and is well down on his nap. Usopp decides to go first because he is convinced that anyone that goes after Luffy has a death wish so he hands over the official Experiment notepad to Chopper and tiptoes his way towards Zoro. 

He has a plan. He has a strategy; he is on a mission. Whoever touches Zoro will be crowned The Bravest Stealthiest Ninja of The Ocean Forever. He takes off his shoes and zigzags his way towards the sleeping swordsman, stops when he hears a snore, he is sweating, his steps are quiet on the deck’s wood floor but he round Zoro until he is walking on grass, he has taken a whole seven minutes to cross half the distance between where he was standing five meters away and Zoro. He starts walking again, closer and closer, the blades of grass tickling his soles, his heart loud in his ears, he is going to make it. Five more steps. Only five more steps and he can claim his title-

“If you so much as breathe close to my swords, I will tie you to the anchor and throw you to the ocean”

Usopp deflates in the spot, his soul almost leaving his body. Luffy is laughing at him from the start point while Chopper writes furiously on the notepad. Robin who has stopped by to watch them play gives him one of those small smiles that sometimes reminds him of his mum and grows a hand to tap him gently on the head. Well shit, he lost. Now he can relax and enjoy the mess to come. 

He drags himself over to the start line and is ready to take the pad and start documenting Chopper’s turn when Robin steps ahead.

“May I?” she asks “I would also like to be witness of the perception capabilities of our swordsman-san” she adds and even Luffy can see through her. “All right, it looks like healthy fun” she concedes. 

“What's fun?” shouts Franky from the second floor of the deck and Usopp has to smother the impulse of shushing him. They need the noise! Zoro can sense when they are planning something sneaky and dumb, sometimes he joins, sometimes he lets Nami deal with them. Yesterday he had woken up because they were too quiet, this time they can’t let him even realize they have something on hands. By the time Luffy, Chopper and him finish explaining the experiment to Franky he has decided to join too, of course he would bros, he though they would have called him like yesterday, why would they think of starting without him, that unthoughtful, y’know! 

But then Robin coughs curt and politely and they all shush between each other but not so much so she can have a go at it.

She starts walking with a confident but slow step until her feet are at the height of Zoro’s shoulder and she is almost bending down to hit the goal when Zoro asks her: 

“Do you need something?” he says bluntly but not unkind, that’s just really the way he talks to his friends.

“No”, she answered naturally, and finish her turn by bending over to brush something from Zoro’s shoulder “you just had a bug on your clothes”.

“Leave it be,” he answers with a yawn and a stretch “we can chuck it to the cook later”.

“Don't be mean, Zoro” she laughs softly and keeps walking and Chopper and Usopp can see a couple of eyes popping in the back of her head, probably to make sure Zoro goes back to sleep so she can go back to the research party without making it suspicious.

“Do I win?” She asks when she re-join them.

“No, Robin,” Chopper answers her “he could tell you were there before you touched his shoulder”

“Oh, what a pity” she says but the all get distracted because Franky has managed to oil his joints with help of Luffy and they look like one of Usopp’s mechanical accident but Franky is ready! 

He steps over at the start and pops a rollerblade of tiny wheels on his feet, the cheating bastard, and has to be yelled at because its breaking Rule Number 3. He harumphs and pouts and it takes Robin giving him a stern look for him to actually start his turn. He gives two steps-

-and one of his knee’s squeaks.

“Fuck” Franky mutters softly, with feeling. One step, two steps, squeak, one step, two steps, squeak. He is almost halfway (and Usopp thinks they should mark the halfway point, as a reference) and Zoro hasn't made a move to acknowledge the cyborg, so Franky encouraged by that starts walking with resolution.

“Whatever it is I did not break it… this time”. 

Usopp writes Franky’s progress down, he also starts writing whatever Zoro says when he acknowledges them on his notes (mostly to laugh at them later), he also adds that Franky’s fail was his overconfidence, because as Chopper points out, Zoro hadn't really noticed him, squeak and all, until Franky got cocky.

Up next, it's Chopper because he also does not want to go after Luffy. At this point Nami has been looking at them curiously from her tanning chair for a while, laughing every so often, and Brook and Jimbe have been looking from the side, which it's lucky because it means that they are making enough background noise that the sudden silences won't wake Zoro up.

Chopper treads lightly and confident over to Zoro because he knows he is the swordsman favourite, the bastard, his little hoofs clicking on the deck and by the time he is in range to poke Zoro in the face Zoro stirs a bit and unfolds an arm so Chopper can accommodate himself and use as a pillow and them hugs him like he is a plush toy. 

Franky snaps and prints a picture (a new feature, he explains proudly) and hands it to Robin for her - most likely - extortion book that Usopp is sure only has embarrassing pictures and secrets about their lives. She calls it family album.

The game takes a rest then because Chopper actually takes a nap with the swordsman and Sanji soon will be calling out for lunch if Luffy’s lack of focus is anything to go by. In the end, it's hard to pinpoint the moment Zoro knew when Chopper got closer to him, and that if by lending his arm as pillow it counts as a lose or a win

They have lunch and Luffy manages to not mention The Experiment, Chopper later mentions that maybe he is finally learning to not reveal useful information, Usopp thinks he was just too distracted by food to even remember they were playing-err experimenting. They have to wait again, because Zoro has a training and meditating schedule that he sticks to stubbornly, but in the meantime Nami reaches them wanting in. She asks if there is any prize and Usopp tells her about the title of The Bravest Most Stealthiest Ninja of The Ocean Forever and she calls him lame but stills insist that she is going to play, hone her pickpocketing skills. Brook insist on them, the old folks, playing too, to Jimbes consternation, and by now Usopp is just making excuses just to feel important because of course they can play too. 

It's finally Luffy’s turn, it's kind of good that its after lunch because he is not distracted by food, which is sometimes the crew’s biggest enemy - don't think of that one time Luffy ate all of Big Mom’s candy. DO NOT think of that one time Luffy ate all of Big Mom’s candy - they wait for half an hour so that Zoro is sound sleep and gather all at the start point when Usopp and Chopper start rounding them up, half the crew has already played but Robin and Franky hang in the back with them, Robin adding little notes of her own to the notepad previous entries, and she has more eyes than anyone else so Usopp is not really mad about it.

They have Franky distract their Captain to make sure everything is on point and when everything it’s ready they signal to Luffy who turns from where he is perched over Franky and before his feet can touch the floor of the deck, they can hear Zoro mumble sleepy

“Capt’n”

Five seconds later Usopp and Chopper are cracking up. It has been, by far the fastest Zoro has noticed them and Luffy insist that Usopp and Chopper are somehow cheating. 

Chopper gets a second round because Luffy rages complains and whines that they ARE cheating and of course Zoro would not notice Chopper! He is fluffy and cute and not threatening at all and Chopper, outraged starts a petty fistfight with his Captain. It last all but three minutes because Nami just punches both in the head with her haki that she only remembers she has when someone on the crew is being annoying. This is how Rule Number 3 gets an exception so Chopper can switch into heavy point and see if he can touch Zoro again. 

The results are basically the same. This time though, Chopper walk on the soft sole of his bare feet, his steps heavier than usual but don’t clack against the deck and advances, fuming from the accusations. He gets to the height of Zoro’s head and scowls at their Captain, then sits heavily over his folded legs and lets one big and hairy hand fall hard over Zoro’s face. 

Zoro jumps half awaken and the rest of the straw hats who are watching skedaddle for dear life because holy shit Chopper managed to jump scare Zoro.

They re-join after 15 minutes when Zoro is back asleep and Luffy cannot accuse Chopper of cheating, even if he pouts about until Sanji shows up.

“Why are you all here?” Sanji asks and Usopp has a mini heart attack but he keeps his cool, not like Jimbe that is not yet used to how silent half the crew can walk if they want. He has a triple deck tray that has drinks and snacks and really time past flying when you are dedicated to science Usopp thinks “If you are pranking the marimo and didn't include me you are all the worst”.

Is Robin who explains the experiment to Sanji, The Rules and the current results and only exception to The Rules, Sanji realizes quickly that it is the reason Luffy hasn't been bothering for two days straight and why no one really paid attention to him when he brought the mid-afternoon snacks, it's also the reason no one has brought him any fish or tossed them over the fish tank and nothing has exploded by joined efforts from Franky and Usopp. Usopp resents that comment.

There is a little debate over who should go next between Brook, Jimbe and Nami and in the meantime Sanji hands out the snacks and drinks and because Usopp was not playing attention he is not sure how come but Brook comes next and Nami comes last.

Brook unexpectedly whips out his violin releases a loud “Yohohoho” and start walking while playing, it's probably only 5 steps from the start to where Zoro is for him and he is about one step away from Zoro, slightly distracted by his own music and by slightly Usopp means very. So much so that he starts singing like he is in one of his concerts. As expected Luffy start headbanging and Franky follows him soon after while Jimbe and Chopper try desperately to shush the skeleton. Usopp and Nami share a disappointed side glance and Robin just chuckles.

“Oii man, keep it down, come on” aaand ok, that was Brooks own fault.

Jimbe… just goes with it, because he imprinted on the crew fairly early and loves them all already, he has no problem getting along with them as a group, but when it comes to interpersonal relationship within the crew everyone can tell he is still a bit hesitant about the do and don't. He gets along the best with Zoro, because they share a very similar worldview, but has the most conversations with Robin. Usopp thinks he just can't keep up with the youngest energy on a regular day because he thinks of himself as an old man. But he is never annoyed or irritated with them, he probably just doesn't understand them yet. And because he is just very self-aware of not bothering his new nakama Jimbe can just walk - confused and a little hesitant - up to Zoro. There, when he is supposed to try to touch the sleeping mossman, Jimbe has doubts and because Zoro can sense weakness (next series of experiments) he wakes up. 

It's an awkward kind of situation and Usopp can feel the second hand embarrassment, because Zoro just, doesn't say, anything, and Jimbe crouches down and gracelessly pats him in the shoulder. They both seem very confused and very uncomfortable with the entire situation but since neither is trying to start anything neither know how to react after the pat. So Jimbe stands up again and leaves. They all can see Zoro shrug and go back to sleep but they all also feel sort of sorry for the fishman. Jimbe comes back around after a couple of minutes, after all, everybody is gathered there playing the gam- Experiment. Robin comforts him with a couple of words of encouragement before the next turn starts.

It is finally Nami’s turn and she, just like Usopp, takes her shoes off and aims over to the grass. Nami takes 3 steps before Zoro speaks. 

“No” he says and Nami stops like if someone had caught her shoving coins in her pockets. She looks back and sees Robin chuckling softly and Franky with a shit eating grin. Usopp looks just as shocked as her but shakes out of it as soon as Chopper starts to mumble about smells, pheromones, electromagnetical fields observational haki, the muscle memory of it and how humans seem to have a better sense of smell than they think and Usopp remembers to write it down “Whatever it is no!” 

“I haven't done anything!” 

“...and you can't convince me” 

Nami walks back her three steps angry as ever, muttering about taking her revenge, Usopp takes note of it, the next two weeks will probably be fun, with Nami trying to slip under Zoro’s defence, with him yelling at her and Sanji yelling at Zoro for yelling at Nami.

“Let’s Sanji try!” Luffy said and how could they have forgotten Sanji! The crew turns to look at the cook who shrugs but he looks amused enough which is good because it means he is in.

“I bet 50฿ Sanji doesn't make it to tree steps when Zoro wakes up” Nami says pettily then, right after Sanji has dropped the act and yielded and accepted to play. There are a short but chaotic ten minutes where the rest of the crew places their bets and shouts at each other because it’s been eight days of peaceful sunny weather and they are just craving some sort of excitement like the adrenaline junkies they all are. The highlight of the mess is when Robin bets 200฿ over that Sanji does gets to touch the swordsman in the face and everyone very politely tells her that she is delusional. Sanji himself abstain from betting and he has a weird smile on his face. Usopp doesn't trust him.

With all bets placed Sanji walks then and Nami stretches her hand to receive her coin and then swears when Sanji looks back apologetic and gives a fourth step. Usopp starts sweating because for every step Sanji takes he loses 10฿ and Sanji is still walking, five steps and Franky resigns his 70฿, he is two steps away from Zoro’s boots when Brook laughs and sticks his hands on his hair to pull out a bag of coins and plops it in Jimbes hands who isn't betting so is in charge of the money because no one thrust Nami with money anymore (she is still the treasurer of the ship and does an amazing job at it but she has a hard time letting go of each crewmember allowance). Usopp has to remind Luffy who’s betting 50฿ if Sanji gets this far from Zoro’s head (this far is the distance between his open hands when his arms are stretched but only like a normal human being) that he probably is going to win when Sanji strides the rest of the way and stands right next to the first mate’s head. Sanji turns around and looks at the crew with a shy smile and is that a blush? He squats suddenly next to the swordsman and turns towards him.

“Hey, marimo-kun,” he says softly but loud enough to make sure the crew is listening and then he does something risky. He lets one of his hands fall over Zoro’s head, right where his hair stars and brushes it back and while keeping his balance he leans in and pecks Zoro quickly on the lips “dinners about to be ready, you should wake up” he says and Usopp is silently losing his shit. He looks around and sure enough, Franky, Nami and Chopper look just as surprised as him and Brooks just looks at them with his eyeless face, no emotion betraying his bony features, Jimbe looks like he doesn't understand the collective freak out they are having and Usopp can't really blame him. 

Chopper recovers from his shock with a face that says that he just found the missing piece of a hard mystery and Luffy, well, after a couple of seconds of confused silence starts laughing his head off. 

“I knew they’d come by!!” He says and that's the moment Robin can’t hold it anymore and stops trying to hide her smile that turns quickly into a grin and then a surprised chuckle when Jimbe gives her the money, meanwhile Usopp notices Sanji still brushing Zoro’s hair with his fingers. 

“Hey, mosshead,” he says and the crew is quickly quiet again, still losing their shit but attentive on whatever Sanji may have to say “do you think we should tell the crew?” Zoro grumbles something unintelligible and moves his head towards Sanji’s hand when he starts scratching him over the ear “it’s been enough secrets don't you think?” 

“Don't care, t's yer secret” Zoro grumbles still mostly sleep and then throws a arm over to where Sanji is to try to catch him, Sanji jumps it easily from where he is squatting, scratches him a little more and takes a drag of his cigarette with his other hand before standing and looking at his nakama. 

“This is the last secret, Captain. I promise.” He says with an apologetic smile and Luffy starts laughing again because as far as secrets go, this one is pretty good. 

* * *

It's about an hour later and Usopp and Chopper are still rummaging with the results of the experiment and the silly doodles Robin scribbled on the notepad that apparently are not so silly if you start to look at them in sequence when Sanji steps besides Zoro again, relaxed, quiet, confident, he lights a cigarette and takes a drag of it before he screams.

“I SAID DINNER IS FUCKING READY” he shouts letting the whole weight of his heel fall over Zoro’s stomach. It does not connect because Zoro is up faster than light blocking the kick with the sheath of his white sword, smirking like the devil and pushing Sanji to a brawl that now looks much more like flirting that a fighting.

At the end Chopper and Usopp reach the conclusion that Zoro can tell who comes close to him either by the particular chaotic aura they emit or their good or ill intent and that he trust them enough to not even open his eye when they are close and how Luffy summarizes well that's pretty fucking cool.

**Author's Note:**

> i had a lot of fun writing this but im a little self conscious about this one because i dont think i nailed what was asked of me but i do hope is enjoyable enough :S
> 
> comments and kudos are always welcome and as always, thanks for reading.


End file.
